lateNight

look at the brunette. such a dreamer you never saw!

I wait until everyone is asleep to come home and get onto this pretty little PowerBook of mine. OfCourse (!!!), aMurderer is lurking on my buddy list and due to my slight buzz and extreme loneliness I message him.

(oh yeah, this is a pouty girl post meine Damen und Herren.)

The only reason I vent to you, (the 2.5 people that glance at this,) is that my dearest friend in theStates is busy and hasn't emailed in a week. Granted I have been occupied with family for the past couple days, but I still climb on to the Web each day hoping that she might have dropped some advice into my mailbox. Alas, today was yet again not TheDay.

So, let me just start by saying that today was actually a pretty decent day. I filled each minute on the clock with conversation and activity effortlessly. This act I must confess, is really a brave effort to keep me from sitting here all day waiting for news from home, (via myspce. how sad?!) I call the few I know here in order to bug them into having a beer with me to no avail. I'll admit though, I'm not the greatest friend, (or whatever you call it,) in the world so I am not surprised by their busy excuses. So instead, I climb on the tram home and plop my ass here.

This, mind you, is not my attempt to feel sorry or bad about my situation. I feel that singledom is just that. A period where one must fill your time with other things then a relationship or (whatever they're called.) Yet being a Cancer + Mercury acting like an asshole for another week at least, I am back and forth with my moods about company, (and anything else,) and feel the need to emote.

Then here we are now, full circle at 3am. I'm lonely but enjoy being alone. I'm meloncoly but not that upset by it. I'm consumed with thoughts of aMurderer, and yet living well single and free.

What has anyone gained from this other then more typing practice? Let's save that for another post.