This lonley world is wasting,

it's time on me. I'm listening to REM after a night of drinking wine with Germans that have never been to Berlin. All that I can think of is the city that made me think of the fact that there is so much more than what is outside of my simple hometown - no outside of this simple Pittsburgh. All that i want to feel right now is the rush of the U-Bahn as it docks at my feet on the way to the next ... entry.

The Birthday Morning/Day/Night

I awoke just after noon with a neat hangover to the sounds of 'America's Next Top Model,' (which I abhor,) and gathered myself together for breakfast.


The scene in Cosi is something for myself and Lady K.

As we sat perched on stylish wooden seats next to the window of swiftly passing yuppies on their lunch hour I took in the fact that I barely knew the girl that took off an honest day's work to make sure that the 20th of July was something to remember. We ate our shitty/overpriced food, (her 'doing surgery' on her tuna sandwich accomplishing nothing but a small smelly bad of fish mixed with cold cheese.) We spent the rest of the day exploring her neighborhood - passing Harry Potter toting adults and sunglass donning vacationers like myself - the highlight being a visit to the Torpedo Factory. I didn't necessarily love a lot of the work, but it was just amazing to see people making money doing something that they loved. It was Studio #224 that was the one to visit.

Then there was the walk to the Mall and sitting on the grass in the sculpture garden listening to jazz and people watching.
The night was a blur of walking, metro, smoking from a bowl very obviously in the middle of Dupont Circle, hitting on the waiter, pissing behind a shrub, and countless other drunk activities, and finally home. Bed. I had successfully turned twenty-two.

Regardless of the fact that I don't have time, I want to make time. I would like to put it all down before I forget. I 'm trying not to forget the best week I think I've ever had.

It started with my flight being delayed out of Pittsburgh for six hours. Normally one is frustrated, irate, any number of negative emotions when a plane is so delayed but I was hanging out with two of the nicest people I've ever met in the bar right next to the gate. A couple vodka tonics, a lemon drop, and a few cheese sticks later I was giggling at the gate as they told us to 'remain patient,' and thanked us for our patience. Once in New York my connecting flight was also delayed.

At the baggage claim my amazing week truly began. Mr. Y sat clutching the latest issue of a popular news magazine. The second he glanced up I got a surge of happiness. I was here! Washington DC! I wasn't in transit any longer and I got to see a friend I hadn't seen in an age.

After the trip into Old Alexandria we met up with Lady K and headed to the nearest bar. I realized I was not longer in the 'Burgh when my first round cost $15.

First came mid-night and then the bar sang 'Happy Birthday.' Next the free shots, the creepy NOVA (Northern Virginia,) boys, the tenth cigarette, and finally a fun stumble home.

I woke up the next day next to Lady K with the best hang over ever and the rest of a beautiful birthday day ahead of me.

More on that later.

The Birthday?

I should be more excited for the vacation. Instead, I sit in front of my best friend, (PowerBook,) and worry over things that I cannot control for the next few days - (the fact that I can't work, can't really spend a lot of money, and can't speak a lick of French.) All these are slightly random I guess but it's late... I'm tired.


Mind you, at nearly four o'clock in the morning on a national holiday there is nothing to do other than continue to listen to the same sad DeVotchKa songs and watching a muted episode of Dawson's Creek on one of the few basic cable channels offered through our humble Comcast subscription.


Happy B-day USA...

I have such an amazing talent to make an ass out of myself it actually astounds me. I'm sitting in my 'living room' on the floor watching 'Home Improvement' on basic cable and remembering in little bursts the stupid things I did last night whilst being very fucked up. Then I start to remember how much I spent last night. Poor bank account.

And only one night's sleep later,

I'm less upset and more wanton. Lashing out is wrong and I should be a nicer and bigger person.

I keep thinking about the winter and how there seems to be fewer problems in general when everything lies in wait for the new year. The snow kills or dissuades the insects from creeping through the cracks in our apartment, it softens steps on the pavement, lessens the chances of being mugged in Garfield, and makes this city look a bit cleaner.

It's that frozen quiet that I miss more than anything. When there's no wind, no one around, and only the sound of your breath/crunchy step in the air. I remember looking around me and finding thing revealed by bare foliage that I hadn't noticed in August and feeling somehow in on something. Fuck that's lame but I miss the cold.

I Get It.

For a woman, your looks last only so long. This is baring lack of funds for cosmetic improvement. The reality is that I smoke heavily and drink like a fish - nut I'm young so I've got a bit before it starts to eat away at me physically or otherwise.

So the true question is, why is dear June left with only the dregs of humanity that want nothing but, "I am still very willing to hang out with you, watch movies, eat food, fool around, whatever, but it would not change that I still do not want it to take on uniquely girlfriend qualities."

To myself and other female friends this reads as, "I'm not that interested but if you feel the need to get laid you know my number."


Apparently I don't try hard enough/too hard. I lack something.



So, this evening I sit at the bar next to a female bulldog in an acceptably slutty tube top and all that I can think is how perfect her life is with her perfectly lame romantic problems that are not problems at all - simply the contents of a very lame episode from a hideous series on MTV - and I think to myself, 'how jealous am I right now?! Ignorance is bliss.'


After the lights came up at the bar and revealed all of us to one another I stumbled towards my bike and rode home thinking that I should be happier about the lack of company. I escaped the parade without being scathed.


(Let us all now have a collective laugh at the pathetic attitude of the heroine and dis wade her from ever posting drunk again.)

The Song Remains The Same.

My return is marked by the Comcast Cable man arriving promptly at 9:15 yesterday morning.

--------------on with it then.

Lyrics to that very emotionally crucial song are never effective when spelled out in front of you. It is imperative that the beat, the adorable raspy voice, all of it must be there in order for the true impact to be made.

Personally, I'm infatuated with the Ladytron track Cease2xist off of Light & Magic, especially the lines: Think, everyone that you've kissed/Do the cease to exist/Once you've stop being missed

But this doesn't mean anything to you until you hear it.

Oh to be eternally despondent and European! Everyone would hate me I'm sure but I would remain unaffected...

The End Is Near!

So, I know for a fact that when you barely post on a blog that no one really reads anyway - people stop reading completely. Why start up again now?

Because Ladies and Gentleman - I'm days from graduating and the announcement cannot go unposted.

Now I have the rest of my life to sit in front of this computer and astound you with my day to day achievements. :)

Over the past few months I have move in and around Pittsburgh living only day to day in the hopes of finishing each week and with each week having one project or another completed. When I wasn't working within the 15289 zip code I was at the bar, (either earning or spending money.) But now this endless cycle is over - over and done with - completed - finished - I mean almost.

Tomorrow I send off three paintings to the Miller Gallery here on campus for the BFA 2007 show and by Friday with the opening reception also comes my one and only deadline between me and the diploma - the Drug Use Drug Policy final.

This is all that is worth writing because this is all that is worth thinking about at the moment. There will be no long drawn out revisiting of my four years here. There will be no 'would of should of could of-ing.' There is no time for that. The rest of the world awaits.

Vernonia Sch. Dist. 47J v. Acton (94-590), 515 U.S. 646 (1995).

(b) The first factor to be considered in determining reasonableness is the nature of the privacy interest on which the search intrudes. Here, the subjects of the Policy are children who have been committed to the temporary custody of the State as schoolmaster; in Page II that capacity, the State may exercise a degree of supervision and control greater than it could exercise over free adults. The requirements that public school children submit to physical examinations and be vaccinated indicate that they have a lesser privacy expectation with regard to medical examinations and procedures than the general population. Student athletes have even less of a legitimate privacy expectation, for an element of communal undress is inherent in athletic participation, and athletes are subject to preseason physical exams and rules regulating their conduct. Pp. 7-11.

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