Don't Raise Your Voice At Me.

With seven husbands and eight marriges Lana Turner is an example to live by. Here she is testifying at her daughters murder trial after Little Lana (Cheryl Crane) stabbed Turner's lover Johnny Stompanato.

After witnessing a small explosion in Newport News I have decided that I will never get married. Mind you I have been dreaming of that magical day when I make that promise to 'love - honor - and cherish' forever since I was young enough to daydream, but yesterday I was swiftly disillusioned. Last night, I did not want to be in that small apartment sitting in the other room while my best friend and her guy had a screaming match in the bathroom. It doesn't matter what they were arguing about, it isn't any of my business anyway. I just felt like a toddler trapped in a house I couldn't escape. The reality is, she was my ride.

My parents have never fought like that within earshot of their three children, so I missed out on how to cope with mommy and daddy fights. The highlight of the experience is her guy coming into the room I was waiting/hiding in with a red face and bugged eyes looking down at me and attempting to pull me into the 'discussion' with questions that tried to garner him sympathy.

My friend, her friend, and I finally got ready and went to TheClub. While She finished putting on make-up and venting to her tag-a-long idiot of a married friend, (it's an epidemic btw - everyone is getting married between the ages of 18 and 24 in Hampton Roads) and I hit the bar with the fury of every scorned or abandoned woman in the history of the world. With so many people flooding TheClub and having to deal with greeting assholes I haven't seen in ages and will never see after this night, I needed to be as lubricated as possible.

Two beers, three different shots, and two mixed drinks later, (not in that order,) I was dancing on a stage with bars and mirrors like an asshole. I hate that I do that, but who doesn't when they are wasted.

In the end, I still think it is better that I put all men off with asshole-like dancing and drunken hugs then to deal with a Tuesday Night Fight like the one I witnessed. Let me keep all my male friends, and may I never commit to one of them as more then just friends. Cheers! To Spinsterhood at Twenty-One!