fun with aKiller

I have this strained and complicated relationship with my Killer. We have a lot of the same interests, the intimate time together is phenomenal, and he is one of the funniest people I have ever met. Yet, this past Tuesday I asked if he had ever lied to me. In my mind, I was more concerned about something having to do with a previous relationship of his. Instead he told me he hadn't ever lied to me but hadn't been completely open with me. Apparently we don't click, we have been spending too much time together, and I am using him as some kind of back up boyfriend.
You can imagine my frustration and heartbreak.
I just want and only need his friendship. I want to know him better, and I can understand how my methods before where probably a bit too forthcoming, me being a Cancer and having a tendency to over-do everything.
Chesapeake is a lonely place. I don't have very many friend's here. There isn't much to do so I am first to jump on the bandwagon for a weekend of being out and trying anything.
This conversation with my Killer has made me realize more about myself and what I need to change as well as what I shouldn't have to apologize for. I am going to miss him so much when I leave in two weeks, I am going to miss all of my few friends here in this nowhere town. I really want to be able to come back to him and still continue a friendship.