After an Early Sundown.

I woke up in bed at four in the afternoon today and decided to stay there until close to eight. I must say vacations are wonderful because I really don't feel guilty about this. Honestly the biggest highlight of my day was going to Barnes and Noble to buy another collection of crossword puzzles.

After parking the car I got out to realize I didn't even think of bringing a jacket and secretly thanked global warming for the cool night.

Looking across the lot I noticed that the only people that frequent strip malls at this hour are highschool aged assholes with the inability to get alcohol during their Christmas break. I don't think that I will ever understand what makes people my age and younger feel deviant inside of a bookstore chain. They play Sarah Fucking McGlocklin over the sent of preppy coffee for Christ's sake - there's nothing 'bad ass' about that.

I peered around the usual corners in the store, (new paperback release then on to language reference, turn back and glance at fiction, pass through periodicals and debate for five minutes in games.) After choosing my book I moved through the maze of tables in the cafe and got in line. I took one look behind the counter and decided that coffee would only be a cup of lukewarm disappointment and mentally decided on an americano. It was then I noticed that one of the women in front of me was packing a handgun on her hip. It brought me back to my research about handguns in my attempt to obtain a license for my own. I started to feel as if i looked like I was making a big deal about seeing a woman with a handgun and became frustrated at my possible obviousness - I just was really excited but refrained from bugging this poor woman with questions.

I need to pause now and rant just a little about the employees and customers of Barnes and Noble Cafe. First off, I'm tired of people complaining or not being able to drop the idea that it's not a Starbucks. I believe that B&N really shot themselves in the foot with this one seeing as no matter what state I'm in people always bitch when they find out they can't use their gift cards there, or they don't understand how it isn't a fucking Starbucks. As for the folks on the other side of the counter, part of me feels for them, (after even a week in food service anyone would,) but they are always inept in some way. Maybe I just have a short fuse, but if something is on your menu - if you offer certain options - then don't give me that fucking look when I order a double tall soy vanilla latte or whatever drink item I'm willing to purchase. I've even had a woman roll her eyes at me and I swear I wanted to inject some snarky tone into the moment but no - instead I throw a joke in the tense air as my weakness for the reaction formation defense mechanism calls for.

Anyway.

My intention to go to places like this bookstore cafe is to just get out of the house and really just be alone. I must say though there is something about being alone in public that makes you feel more comfortably isolated than being at home. I sat for an hour and a half working on the first puzzle in my new book and listening to different cell phone rings pierce the bland store soundtrack. It never fails to surprise me when the older gentleman's phone goes off with a very loud cut of a crappy pop tune.

I wasn't really to go home, mainly because I never get use of the Tahoe so I drove to another shopping center close to my house. I don't like AJ Gator's in the least, and I also don't like walking in and immediately laying eyes on someone I know from school. I shuffled to the bar and ordered a Diet Coke hoping that this girl at the end of the bar would continue to focus on her obscenely large portion of nachos and her very preppy looking group of friends and not try to remember who I was.

Since diet Pepsi is not the same as diet Coke I went with a Red Bull and sat there working more on the crossword puzzle and hoping that no one would notice I hadn't come home yet.

By the time I'd left, I found myself actually worried that there was a cop in the parking lot waiting for someone to walk out to their car and ran scenario after scenario through my mind of getting pulled over - after not having a single drop of alcohol.

And so went the night.