On the Latest Train.

It is a bit rattling to be barged in on my two hulking German police officers saying very sternly: "We must see your passports please." They swoop in really, wrenching open the door it is only then you hear their heavy footsteps land right next to your seat.

Mother, Brother, and I were traveling on the Warsaw Express from Poznan to Berlin, (about a 2.5hr. trip.) I collected the passports and handed them swiftly to the larger gentlemen in uniform clogging the doorway. When he stopped to look at my Visa I mentally choked. It is in order I know but I half think in the back of my head I will be dragged off by these two men who, even at their age, could do it very easily. Next come these two huge stamps from their satchels that make a car rattling “CLANK” as they press the time and place of border cross-age onto a piece of blue paper in my passport.

More photos coming soon, I believe a second photo essay is in order. These are both from Poznan.

June the Vampire.

Yes. It's true. I have no life and am on this damn thing more then a normal blogchild. I'm quite the webstalker, and roam around the vastness of the internet for hours looking for someone or something to make my next five minutes stand out from the last.

I just can't sleep with the snoring from one family member and the very audible sleeptalking from another.

Instead of rest, I sit here at my desk with the same little mix playing lightly in the backround - my favorite song has just begun. ('Herfst en Nieuwegein' by Spinvis.) It goes well with the light breeze coming in from the window and soft sound of typing in my corner of the apartment.

I also just finished talking to Ducky, who I miss more then words can express. (!!!) She was kind enough to fill me in about the comings&goings of folk on that side of the pond, and sounds a bit stressed unfortunatly.

I am truly curious to see how my three weeks at home will go when it comes to seeing everyone that needs to be seen/ packing for my, (dare I say it,) last year at Carnegie Mellon/ and feeling comfortable around special topics that will remain unclear.

::immediate thought::I want to drive down 664 heading into Norfolk from Newport News with Ducky. I want to speed towards the Wave, and see the spooky children. Next I want to see theKiller's soon to be former roommates and get as fucked as possible in the closest bar with as many people as can fit into the booth. Then I want a whole day with La Bella. Dawn to Dusk please.


Speaking of which, here comes the sun. Funny how that happens.

Skip It.

Everybody sleeps on Sundays.

...Except Mother, who wants to wake up bright and early for brunch in Prenz/berg.
Brother, Mother, and I left twenty till noon and met a Guest at the M10 stop. After what was the best buffet at the most random russian restaurant on Knaack Str., (across from the Wasserturm, to give those who want one an idea,) the four of us wandered to Tiergarten and into the Bazaar/Flee Market featured directly off of the S-Bahn station.

The buying of gifts for friends back home is finished.

Sunday, is just the quiet sleepy day here in Berlin. I mean if you really needed a party around here, I'm sure you could find it somewhere. Yet, who would want to? It's nice to: take a long nap in the middle of the afternoon/ eat an amazing Indian meal in Freidrichshain/ read some newly aquired books/ check email without expecting there to be anything/ be suprised by an invite to an exhibit from a fellow artist/ listen to the older Spinvis album shuffled together with the Eraser whilst blogging.

I'm getting used to this way of living and yet I leave in less than two weeks.

Cubic Club

I am sitting at my laptop, (a bit buzzed and very tired,) hoping that tonight was not my last night in Berlin.

I know that it wasn't, but it really felt like it.

I left Mother and Brother here in the Apartment in order to fuck off towards the deeper part of Freidrichshain to meet with other exchange students for some wine and good conversation. By 2am I was wandering with the group down Warshauer Straße over the bridge past the S-Bahn Station and into Krauzberg. Don't ask the exact street where this place was, but do I know it was a bridge over from the OstBahnhof.

For two Euro we wandered past a large open club made of glowing green cubes and on to a 'beach' on the river. I'm guessing the green minimal sculpture serving as club/bar was the reason this place is called Cubic Club. After conversing with classmates and new 'friends,' I followed the two Italians, the Dutchboy, and an Austrian to the happening in the middle of dancefloor. With bags in the middle, we made a circle to dance in while enjoying two Euro beer and the occational drunk salutaion from a stranger.

I wanted to continue the massive amounts of cigerette smoking and beer siping for the rest of this night, but knew I couldn't blunder into my apartment half tanked at 6am in front of family and expect to make it to Sunday brunch by 11:30.

To keep it breif, the music was generic German trance, with the expected lack of talented/excited German dancers - but it was still one of the best nights I have had here in the city.

In the middle of the crowded dance floor filled with glowing European guests I looked up into a light red sky at about 3am and thought: I will never be more happy.

the 21st.

In order to escape the intense heat this afternoon, Mother, Brother, and I rushed into the latest exhibition at the Neue National Gallerie.

Berlin Tokyo
Tokyo Berlin
die Kunst Zweier Städte

luckily, I had my trusty notebook, (used for the occasional scribble as well as old-fashioned journal makin') and have gotten the names of German and Japanese artist's alike that are worth looking into. (If interested, you should know where to find my email address.)

Can you believe that the little Virginian-girl saw six real On Kawara pieces, as well as a few Hannah Höch's, a Daniel Richter, and two installations from Yayoi Kusama!!

(Mind you I have only scene slides of these pieces until now.)

I was in ecstasy this entire afternoon just slowly walking from one piece to the next and standing so close the guards got a little nervous.

(There were some goose bumps.)

After purchasing two graphic novels in the gift shop for myself, I left with Mother and Brother to wander into Potsdamer Platz. After a nice glass of Riesling and a small snack we decided to check out the Rundgang at UdK, even though with my many trips to and fro from the Uni all week - we had watched them slowly put up the whole thing. With no surprises found there, it was back to the U2 and once again back into the oven that is Berlin at mid-afternoon.

The Birthday Dinner took place at this little cafe on Kastanian Alle. Once we realized that they didn't have food, (they ran out?) Mother, Brother, June, and Guest buggered off to the Beirgarten right across the way.
(Very good food, no - AmazingFood. Senfeier... who would have thought that three hardboiled eggs, mashed potatoes, and thinned Dijon mustard could be so damn...good?)

I received an illustrated German Bible, which was the best and most on point gift I have received in a very long while, and enjoyed watching my mother entertain the Guest with stories about our dog, Lola.

The entire day, my Inbox, Handy, Myspace Profile, Instant Messenger, and Blog were filled with Birthday Wishes, which made my day more then any big ShinDig or presents would have. (Thankyou. Really.) The best salutation though, came from theKiller. He never actually said 'Happy Birthday.' (too easy, too emotionally close or friendly.) Instead, he does it the way he does everything (using a ten foot poll), which I would like to think means more. He's being nice, I know, but the sweeter little girl in my heart is stirred and I find myself going to bed less jaded.



p.s. unrelated link

Today is World Jump Day (!!!)

July 20th isn't just my birthday...

35 (some odd) Degrees

The city is boiling today and every window in every building is cracked. There are fans going everywhere and people are seeking refuge in the few venues sporting AC in this part of Europe. Global warming is a reality that Deutschland needs to realize and deal with the way everyone else does.

Let's go inside, jack up the air conditioning, and not leave the house until the sun goes down.

Today is also offically the last day of my semester at UdK. I have collected all the signatures, gotten the grades, and said a very formal goodbye to everyone that I shared class with. I'm now back in the library, where everyone else seems to still be working and feel bad for taking up this spot for as long as I know I will be. Still, I'm not going to leave before I'm finished myspacing, emailing, blogging, and surfing.

This is also the first time in some time that I haven't been working, or in summer school on my birthday. (My mother believed that summer school as a way of keeping me occupied during the summer as well as getting me ahead in school, I graduated high school with more credits then anyone I knew.) The only problem is that none of the people I know around here have time tonight to go get a drink at midnight. I don't really make a fuss over the 20th of July, (I mean I stopped getting real presents a while a go and haven't had a cake in years,) but it would be nice to do a little something since I have no obligations for the rest of my time here.

Regardless of what happens this evening though, I know my mother will be taking me out tomorrow night and we will have a 'nice family dinner,'which hopefully won't end with any kind of bickering between me and my 17 year old brother.

Next week though, will be my undoing. The final week for many exchange students will begin and endless partying will certainly happen. I must say, I'm looking more forward to that then anything else.

Multiply.(ed)

Bauhaus, as seen from Wikipedia.

Nothing spectacular today.
Museums, and goodtimes with lovely family members.

Currently I am acting quite the arty fool, listening to Skip Divided by Yorke a few times over and over while researching Wiemar, Germany in preperation for a possible trip there this weekend.

I'm not thinking about anything particularly heavy or stressfull for the first time since Mother arrived and theMexican left.

"you are a fool you are a fool
for stickin round, for stickin round"

::June smiles while listening::

Really, all must buy this album. Then all must wish me luck with the last day of the semester today.

lateNight

look at the brunette. such a dreamer you never saw!

I wait until everyone is asleep to come home and get onto this pretty little PowerBook of mine. OfCourse (!!!), aMurderer is lurking on my buddy list and due to my slight buzz and extreme loneliness I message him.

(oh yeah, this is a pouty girl post meine Damen und Herren.)

The only reason I vent to you, (the 2.5 people that glance at this,) is that my dearest friend in theStates is busy and hasn't emailed in a week. Granted I have been occupied with family for the past couple days, but I still climb on to the Web each day hoping that she might have dropped some advice into my mailbox. Alas, today was yet again not TheDay.

So, let me just start by saying that today was actually a pretty decent day. I filled each minute on the clock with conversation and activity effortlessly. This act I must confess, is really a brave effort to keep me from sitting here all day waiting for news from home, (via myspce. how sad?!) I call the few I know here in order to bug them into having a beer with me to no avail. I'll admit though, I'm not the greatest friend, (or whatever you call it,) in the world so I am not surprised by their busy excuses. So instead, I climb on the tram home and plop my ass here.

This, mind you, is not my attempt to feel sorry or bad about my situation. I feel that singledom is just that. A period where one must fill your time with other things then a relationship or (whatever they're called.) Yet being a Cancer + Mercury acting like an asshole for another week at least, I am back and forth with my moods about company, (and anything else,) and feel the need to emote.

Then here we are now, full circle at 3am. I'm lonely but enjoy being alone. I'm meloncoly but not that upset by it. I'm consumed with thoughts of aMurderer, and yet living well single and free.

What has anyone gained from this other then more typing practice? Let's save that for another post.

thatMurderer! and Old Paintings/Wine

Everytime I talk to theKiller I'm 15 years old: feeling ugly, fat, and stupid whilst standing next to a pretty blond idiot.
And all we talk about is the general goings on. (!!!) This is the ultimate girl thing to think and feel, and I see this. Doesn't mean I can't stop feeling it unfortunatly. More unfortunatly I have spent most of my time on this blog whining about it.

This feeling aside, today was the second day of family in Berlin. Mother, Brother, and June, walking around MuseumInsel.

We bought fabulous hats, (I am the RedBarron!) and gave bread to homeless people. We saw oldEgyptianGreekRoman shit, and gazed upon Monet, Manet, Renoir, Degas, + all their other Impressionist friends. Casper D. Freidrich didn't know what hit him... There were other famous German painters featured as well, but for further info one needs to come here and hit up the galleries.

Post-Culturetime was spent walking towards the Weinerei on Fehrberliner Strasse near Kastanian Alle for good wine, pleasent food, and even better weather, (thank God.)

In other news, I still haven't worn a shirt that reveals the two awful secrets on my arm and chest. I feel compelled to hide it from my poor mother as if I were five again and am still scared of mommydearest. (I am not comparing my mother to the real MommyDearest, but every mother has that boiling point that every child fears.) I can't even type about it now, I feel so horrible. Not just for hiding, but for possibly dissapointing Mother with something that I have wanted secretly for ages...

I'm the worst daughter in the world.

On that note, I'm going to bed early.